A product of Funkytown, California, Stanley began his musical pursuits by playing stand-up bass in the high school marching band.  His exceptional ability caught the eye of Grubby McGreedyington, owner of Bootleg Records.  Signed to an exclusive contract in the service of jazz outfit The Doodlers, Stanley discovered that under the terms of his contract, he was not entitled to any royalty payments.  This became of no concern when Grubby mysteriously disappeared without a trace, or so the inquest determined.  He has played with various blues acts, such as Gravelthroat Wilson, Blind Deaf, and Handless Willie Jones, and Punctual Pete and the On-Timers.  After a stint with prog-rockers ArtsyFartsy, he has since expanded into rock and roll, causing many a crotch to quiver.

Sign:  Libra
Hobbies:  Tantric Yoga, Crisco Sculpture

Orphaned when his parents were killed in a tragic bridge accident (the card game, not the structure), Rex won a scholarship to the Tiresome Boys Academy in Saltine when he demonstrated his ability to remove the wheels, tires and radio from the headmaster's car in under thirty seconds.  His musical career began when he was named musical director for the Cell Block D Glee Club.  After his service to the state ended, he joined the heavy metal group Raw Sewage.  He has also performed with such notables as Love Bucket and the The Passion Flakes, as well as a stint with the avant-garde performance art troupe The Terminally Pretentious.

Sign:  Gemini
Hobbies:  Fleeing Jurisdictions, Amateur Gynecology

Secretive, canny, and of mysterious origin, M. DePlume is shrouded in legend and intrigue.  Some say he was an operative for the French secret service by day, exotic dancer by night.  Others insist he is the long-lost son of Pablo Picasso, and still others say he fled Europe following an imbloglio involving the Countess of Whimsey, which also explains his dueling scar.

Sign:  Pisces
Hobbies:  Astral Projection, Underwater Chess

Raconteur, bon vivant, and feature player in over seventy adult films, Alestair hails from the tiny hamlet of Chutney. 
He has roamed the globe since the age of three, first performing with his parent's singing mime troupe, then striking out on his own as a member of  Piece n' Love, a folk group committed to the ideals of free love, nonviolent cooperation and the common good, and would kick the ass of anyone who disagreed.  Alestair's stage and television work include such notable performances as the role of Franz in the Downers Grove Community Theatre's all-nude
production of "The Sound of Music" and of corpse number two in an episode of Charlie's Angels.

Sign:  Taurus
Hobbies:  Smelting Pig Iron, Loitering in Lingerie Departments